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Toledo State Hospital Patient Diary - MMS 1769

Note : This diary has been divided into parts in order to present it in a manageable form. The divisions do not reflect divisions in the text. Spelling and punctuation are original.

Toledo State Hospital Patient Diary - Part 1

William ____________
Toledo Ohio
Toledo Ohio 1902 from the Toledo State Hospital May the 8th;

Thursday
Aprial the 2d 1902 from the Toledo State Hospital, weather cloudy and cold, not in the best of health, feeling ____________, __________ stile cold figner, internaly reed cheeks bowls don't move freely wraing, don't flow scarcely any too speak of, want exercise, get better curculazion bad feeling, belly is verry large from caustiveness, both dir is hale wile poizen by hipnotism, they breed many difrent kind of diseazess, all for two day

William _____________

Aprial the 4th, 1902 i William ________, penn this note, and too the best of my knowledge and belief is the trouth, it is now nearing the hours of 4 oclock on the after noon of this the 4th day of the month of Aprial, i penn these lines hopeing their perusial by yourself will bee for my benni-fit, and that you will dew me justice i have no fears, we in our ward have just returned from a walk around the asy-lum bouleveard and i feel quite warn out with fatugue, hands swelled quite bad, and leggs akes tired feeling crost the chest streches and mean, don't don't think it is for good too bee used night and day by these people, drawing their poizen by hipnotic influence, but think it is condu-cive, too ones ill health and a fineal eurley death and it savors, of secrete specalation in humman life, which by law is forbiden, and any people practousing it would be crim-minels and amenable too the laws of our country last knight these people hipnotised me too sleep, and while a slepe in a hipnotic state they insulted me by using me in lew of a woman, and gave me three ssamms, caused from an over abun-dance of poizen drawn from these people by hipnotism, and no it has bin going on year in an year out how on earth i live able too stand all this abuse is one of the misterey, i honestly believe they all get money for my horrable mis-use i have no word too add then i will close, this note, i know that if these people can make me draw their poizen by hipnotism and thus live their purson, and thansferring their poizen from their sistum, in two mine why they can use they graand and trees watter and attmansfere the wind will take it away as well as too up more me, and in using me they prove a conspiracy against my life and honor while held in helpless confinement in in this instuhtsion, in this free country, an these people allso prove this is se-cret specalation in humman life, these breath adders are the worst of the lot of these kind of hipnotics for they continuel make one inhale poizen air from every part of their system wit every breath that one draws hopeing that you will read this note and act on it for my bennifit i close with respect
William ____________


Monday May the 19th 1902 too Mr; Dr; Lobey of the Toledo State Hospital, Sir i have reasons in believeing that there is a conspireicy against my life and honor and the life and honor of my famley, by partys connected with this asylum so dedly secret in their acttiones and deturmend in their pur-poses that one can not lay their damable acts on any one purson, but must condem the whole lot of them for their de-turmination too posess thim selfs, in abundance of this worlds goods, by takeing the honor and life, of their fel-low man, and converting it in to manur, through the prosess of extortsion theft and sacrafice and by the use of the wimmen, cvohabeting with man, and in fact, it's the detur-mination of this gang for too use every purson, in this asylum, as long as there is a dollar in their misuse, and too hold them in helpless confinement under the heading of insaneity for that especal purpose, by their low lived lies, too their disstruction and in many casess the dis-truction of their famleys take my case, for an elustration for instance, here i have bin 11 years in confinement in this Asylum for noother reason than that i had a famley qurrel and in a moment of extreem pashion i slapped my wife and knocked her down, for winking at hour famley Doctor something i thought was not just right and took offence then the ring that is conknected with this instution that feeds this great canibal of the state of Ohio, stepped in and i was braught before the probate court and convicted of having too pashunate a temper, and was braught out here too cool off so the judge told me at the time of my conviction, and thus one more was added too the long list of slaves that are incarserated in this asylum too help feed this great cannibal, and, perhaps some of my famley are used in like maner, while i am held here in helpless confinement not able too lift a hand in their defence, or gieve them one dollar for maintenance, gragualy looseing my life, by the abuse that ireceive, continualy from these people, by hipnotism, posessed and practised by these people on every helpless purson in this instutin and on me in particular, though i call it lunitic hipnotism because these partys can use inanimate subjects, as well as anamate sugjects hence the lunacy not content with the use, if myself by hipno-tism, in the too draw their lowlived diseasess and in this way keeping them all healthy in this ward and a good many out siders, they allso feed me adulterated food I have heard from sevural partys and am inclined too its belief that the partys in this instutsion that are hired hire for too protect the honor and health of these pattants, at a fixed sallrey, double their wagges, by outrageing the peo-ple, and charging at the rate of $5,00 for every atempt, they the hired help have atempted it with me from 3 tow 5 times a knight for nearly 2 years, but i circumvented them all i possably could, from the actual outrage by tyeing my head up with a double hankerchief as long as my breath would permit and when i could not stand this nowlonger i begain too barkade my door after i was locked in my room at knight, so I could not besurprised in my sleep and out-raged, whiy i would not have so vile an act happen too my-self for the price of this asylum converted intoo gold money and paid on the spot; and alow them too make an at-tempt, and i think that all of the partys eather men orwimmen connected with this gang of knight prowlers that commit shuch horrable crimes for a living, and toomake choyce members of the gang rich by their low lived crimes, ought too bee prossicuted or convicted and if found guilty, hung and in this all honest people are of my opinion about my being kept in the ward under lock and key is something i can not understand, i hav allways behaved my self never breaking any of their rools never commiting any crimes of any kind, dew the bigest part of the work about the ward and have prooved in a general way that the confinement in with, these patants was inguring my health and breedig a disease that cannot be cured, and in a little while will become cronic, that if i had more liberty such a thing could not happen, and yet with every thing pointing towards my distruction, by the aforesaid conspireing gang of black leggs, i can not gett the small favor, of a prvlage of the grounds too keep me away part of the time from the people, so that my health would bee restoried, and i could gain my liberty in consequence it is probley because im not a cath-loic and on that acount why i have bin so horrably abused, it has made me quite suspisious of your self, though purhapps you are not all to blaime, i have passed 11 years of my life in this instutsion, and in the long years of confinement, thare has not bin one moment, of perfect safty for my self as reguards my life or honor, or for the life or honor of any one that tried too take my part, against this organization of low lived crimnials i believe i am at the presant time in the U.S. of America and in one of her state instutsions, for the insane, and iam not insane, where people are braught too bee cured of some kind of dis-eases and i am getting diseases Through my whole system, where people are brought sometimes for law breaking under the heding of insainity, and i have not broke the law in any way, but stick strictly too the laws dissisions as i am a law abideing citican, and wonte bee a law breaker about this idea of people beeing insaine for what they think or for what they say, is out of reason for new thoughts and new idieas are every persons rights, in this country and their the advancement, of siance in every way, its for that right that our fore fathers emigrated too this country, and founded a new home, for their rights of opinions, and i aze one of their decendance, don't think i am craisey for hav-ing idias that were benificial for me and for every one elce that uses them, and have made money by them while i have bin held in helpless confinement, and some of these slave holding boodlers receieved praise and money for what i knew or for my knowladge, now i wish my discharge from a place, where every moment of the time i have passed as one of its patants has bin too dangerous life and honor, hopeing that you will give me my discharge on these grounds here in _____________ i remain William _______________ __________________ __________ ___________, Toledo, Lucast, Co: Ohio

i rite this with the intensions of some day, in the near fewture, of making it public and in so doing expose one of the worst conspiricys, that war ever anyones privilage or misfortune, too disclose and hope that my fellow citisens will concider the disclosures, which i am riting here that its, for their bennifit that i take all this trouble, as much as for my own bennifit it is my disire two you through this wourld on the square, using every one right and treet-ing every one with respect, and have tried ever too live up too those principles, as i am an law abideing, man, it was not so very disigreable for me too acompliche i am at the presant time in the Toledo, State Hospital for the insane in m building, ward one riting in my room, riting this down in this book, and on sunday after noon, and i cincerely hope that I may have the good fortune, too give it too some one that will, diliver it too the right parttys, and they will know what too doo with it, as all i rite, here, will bee the whole trouth and nothing but the trouth, too the best of my knowlage, so help my god, , i was born of honest but poor parrents, and honorable too extreems, who the criminal stain of dishonor had never darkened their whole life. i was a boy near the age of 7 years when, my fortune ever took our, famley, in the shape of war, and took my father, it left my mother destitute, with 5 small children and an older brother around the age of or near the age of 16 years, with my self third from the oldest being near the age of seven yea[rs] years, i remember we lived in the country, on a farm, that had, a small log house on it, and the farm was nearly all woods it i remember right, and situated on what was at that time called the old angola road, a bout 7 miles from the city limits, so i understood it was very hard for mother too keep the wolf from, the door, enkumbered with all of us children so some of us was obliged too find situations or something too doo, too help my crippled mother in hour suport, as i remember my oldest Brother excepting work as a hostler, from a man or famley, by the name of driver who lived amile nearer the city lim-mits, and kept a tavern i doo not remember the amount of money he got for his work but i doo remember that he brought it all home and gave it too my mother too help suport us, he was a good principled boy and we all had a great love for him, i don't remember if or not my oldest sister sought employment, from, away form home, yet there is a dim remberance of something of the kind, transpireing yet i could not positively say, at any rate wee all got a long quite well for the space of six months or more when my mother thought that if wee could, gett too some place where it was more thickly settled, she might find some kind of employment, for us children that would bee a little, help, toowards our suport so my Mother and my oldest Brother talked it over, and came too the conclution that wee would move too the city so wee pulled up stakes and moved, if my recoletions are coreck, it was the summer of 1862 that wee moved too the city of Toledo form the farm on the south plank, too, a house on summit street, calld the old Unuion hall at the corner of summit, and wallnut streets, it was a brown too storried building with a store front, my brother got work at one of the leeding furms, that delt or made it a business of deeling in ice the firms name was St, john and company, he work there for a year or more, helped Mother pay the rent and provide for us childrens wants and my oldest sister sis went out for work as a nurce girl, if i am not mistaken yet my recolections are somewhat dim on that point, and i can not give a corect answer, or file it on paper, i recolect of my going too the lagrange street School and of having a fight with a boy by the name of john young, the quarrel begain by him pushing me intoo the ditch, and i went for him, i remembber of having a pair of copper toed shoes or boots, i found they were good too kick with so i went for him and began too kick him with my cop-per toed boots, untill he howled like a wolk, and bled quite badly from his posstierior, where the boots landed every time i kicked him, he then ran away, we had a hard time too live as it was with my Brother and sister working, and my Mother dooing fine sewing for the nabors and the shopps, yet there was more trouble, for us comeing that caused depper poverty, and great sorrow for us all, it was my oldest Brother enlistment, in the 108th Ohio Vollentiers Infentry regment if i remember rightly, it was in the fall of of 63 and he would not have him 17 years old before the next augest of the following year, of 1864 it was hart breaking too see the parting of my Brother, an dMother i know little about it, as i was too young yet i saw some of it, and skipped out, for it was too much for me too stand, a young as i was, we moved shortly after that transpired too some friends of hours, that lived at the foot of Chess-nut Street, and i think that my brother helped too move our famley and gett us all as comfortable as our meens would permit and then left with his regment for the war, wee had the good fortune too have a cow that wee had brought from the farm and that helped us too live, she was a red white fased cow and gave a large quantity of rich milk, i may bee rong about what place we moved from the old uneion hall too first, yet it appears too me that i am right, but i may bee mistaken, i was so young and full of play that what hap-pened in the famley, as reguards the place we lived, i did not pay much attension too and cared less it did not amount too much with me it was one, of the too places, eather kings or at the foot of chessnut street, and as i have puit it at the foot of chessnut street first i will lett it re-main so, i believe we had a few chickens that helped us too gett along and brought in quite a little money att differ-ent, times, we were having a hard time too take care of our cow, i remember untill finely mother got her pastured, the pasture was behind the wood lawn semiterry and it was my duty too goo after here every knight and and take her out every morning too the pasture, i was in the habbit of takeing my boy friend with me, for sweet company sake, and too chase the spooks away, one night wee were late, in go-ing after her and it was dark when we got too the semiterry and as we had too goo throught the semiterry, too gett too the pasture, too lett the cow out we were in doubt as too its, habits, but after due concideration, we finealy plucked up curage, sufficant too make a start, we were not advance much more than half way through the grounds, when there arows before us something white and silant but moveing forward, yet apearantly swaying form one side of the road too the other, we were then in doubt wheather too move forward or make a retreet for home, but as i did not want too bee a cowered, i persuaded, my friend too goo on with me, too the pasture, and we finealy started, again, but had not got far in the semiterry before, we were brought to a stand still by the saem object that first atracted out attension, by its gost like apearance and movements, we stood still shivering form fright, not know-ing what too doo, go forward or turn back, we were debating on it when wee happen too glance sharply in the direction from where the ghostly object was comeing, and wee seen that it was makeing more speedy time in our direction and was close upon us, well now i never had such a feeling in my short life before, it was like, one seeing a horrable sight, that would make him deathly sick, yet at the same time scaire him near too death i stood in front of my friend yet had a strong hold on him and as the thing ad-vanced toowards us, i kept, saying too my boy frieng, don't bee afraid, it wont hurt you it cannot, bee no gost, i am not afraid, of gosts bee you, hee would not answer and while i was trying too bee brave, and help him too bee brave, the thing kep comeing toowards us, it finealy got clost up to us i should judge about 20 feet or less when it gave a great blatt or bawl well my friend tumbled head over heals, and i run for dear life and did not stop till i reach home, my boy companion hollered for me too wait for him, but i would not wait he reach home about 1/2 our after i did all out of breath and near scart too death, in the meen time the cow had come home, the man that had the pas-ture, had lett here out, and she had come home here self, we took the bow out too the pasture the next morning and in gowing through the cemitarry too the pasture wee met our gost of the night before, it was a white curham calf, with too red ears it had got out of the pasture, some way, and was strooling through the, semitarry Wee did not stay very long at my friends house, at the foot of Chessnut Street, but moved away in the space of time, i will say 2 or 3 months, then we moved too another place quite discont form where we were liveing, it was a house, in manhatten, or now North Toledo sittuated, near the bank on the old canal, just above the Manhatten corner called the King house, we were not there a great while when my Father came home from the army, having got a furlow, for 3 months i beleve, after his three months was up he went back too his regment, wee lived quite comfortable for a while after he went back, for hee had left us quite well provided, as reguards our house-hold wants yet hard times came again for us and wee sufffered many priveations, amoung many of the troubles that, we had in our famley was one that worryed us Chiel-ren, it was my Mother was takeing sick a bed, and in the corse of a few days a child was born too our famley, a lit-tle boy he brought happyness too our famley, and his pre-sants drove the hevvy clouds away that was hanging over us, and made the sun shine bright once more for us, a bereved famley, we named the little fillow Archer or George Archer ________, there may bee a dispute about the place of our manhatten domicile, and the place at the foot of Chessnut street reguarding the place we lived at first, but it seems too me that i have got it recorded right, simply because i can not remember of us having any baby, when wee lived at the foot of chessnut street, at any rate Archer was born in the old wash King house it was a queer old house i remem-ber , built of loggs and then shetted and sideing puit on over the loggs, wi had not bin long at the old place, after Father had gon back the second time too the war, and our new baby was born, when the ladie3s of the nabor hood called too see the new wonder, and finding that wee were not verry well off in this worlds goods helped Mother, a great deal by giving here sewing too doo, it was a great help, my sister i believe went too the city, and got work, too bring home from the talor shops they were mens pants too make, and that work helped us too live, about this time the ladies of the city of Toledo formed a soseitty for the protection of soldiers wives, and too assist them if the famleys were neady or in want of comforts of daly use for this famley they asisted my mother or our famley, in a num-ber of ways and one that i remember was, that she got $3,00 a week in money, from their society and did different kind of sewing, for it, but wheather she did the work or did not, she received the $3,00 aweek all the same, the rever-ance this noble society of ladies was held in by the poor folks was the deepest love and respect by all of the poor soldiers wives, and widdows, of the many ladies that be-longed too this society thare was one that was particularly kind, and made it her special business too see too the wants of all the soldiers wives, by making daly prilgre-mages too all those that she could, and those that were, in direct nead, of assistance, why i mention he in particular, was that she was verry kind tow our famley and too Mother, it was her that gave my Mother sewing, and allso gave my-self employment, at odd jobs such as running of earents, and doeing odd jobs around her house, she informed my Mother that she might send one of us children, at or too the post office building, as they had a business office there in a couple of rooms on the second floor and that they gave checks on stores for 3 three dollars, as three dollars in cash, too all those soldiers wives that they had found diserving, and had puit their names on a list, so if ma would send some one of us on each saturday, of every week, that they would give Mother, three dollars a week, so Mother, chose me as her messenger, and it wasmy dutty too go too the post office once a week, after the three dol-lars, and i faithfully atinded too my business, i remember one instance, tho that i will never forgett, and it will allways bee in my memory it was a cold stormy day and mother was thinking about not sinding, me, but after suming up the welth there was in the house she found it nesseary so, i was bundled up with scarf and ear covers, mittens and over coat, and started from our house too the post office a distance of three miles and a half, i walked all the way there and got the 3 dollars and started home, in the nabor-hood of half past too oclock in the after noon and reached home about four oclock, or near four oclock nearly per-rished with the cold it was a verry stormy day snowing, and blowing, and it must have bin in the neaborhood of 15 de-grees below zerrow, as i stept intoo the house, and got, part of the snow off my clouths my Mother asked me for the 3 dollars that i had got, at the post office and, i made the effort, of going through my pocketts, for the mony, too give it too her, when i found, that i did not have it too give her, i had lost the 3 dollars for search my pocketts as i might, i could not find the mony Mother says too me, why willie i believer you have lost the money and you dis-erve a good whipping for being so careless, now you go right back, the way you came, and see if you can find it, so i puit on my scarfs bundeled my self up again and was ready for my second trip too the city, when, mother think-ing that two would be better than one too search for the money, told my oldest sister too gow with me and help search throughly for the money she was rather reluctant about going out, in the storm, but Mother told her the nessesity of our want of the money, so after due concidera-tion, wee started and out wee walked a long the streets, toowards the postoffice wee searched with our eyes all along the street and side walk in search of the money, but oculd no where find it, where could it have bin lost was a punacler too boath of us wee had got, clear too the post officce, and was comeing back home, empty handed, when turning the corner off of madison street ontoo summit street and had got a crost the road too the north, west corner of madison and summit, streets, when i happened too glance down, and too wards, the lamp post that was standing there at the junction of the too streets, and there i saw a rapped a round the post clost too the sidewalk, my three dollar bill, i went too the lamp post, and carefully worked it off of the lamp post, and puit it in my mitten and puit the mitten on my hand, so that i would, have hold of it all of the time, and wee went on our way rejoicing oue our good luck in finding the money we finealy reach home quite a bit after dark worn out with out long tramp and search for the money, yet were well paid for our long tramp, in seeing the joy in the finding of the money had brought too us all, i believe that wee onely staid that one winter in the old king house, though i am not possitive, and on the follow sumer, we moved from Manhatten, from what is Called North Toledo now, too the other end of the city in the 5th, ward too a little house, the wimmens aid society had got for us, and there we stayed untill after the close of the war, we lived quite comfortable there, as we had our cow, and quite a number of good chickens, & my Mother took in sewing, and working, in a small, way, and my oldest sister got work learning the millners trade, she i believe went away too another city too complete her trade, and while there was adopted by the famley, the folks that that ran the busi-ness, i doo not remember the names of the people but i doo remember the name of the place, theat she went too, it was a little town called Jones Ville, she stayed there 3 or 4, month, or more and then returned home, and went too work in another place, she did quite well i believe, though i can not remember being so young and full of play, my youngest Sister, my youngest brother and my self, went too the 5th ward school, and dureing vacations wee all helped too pro-vide for our house hold wants, my sister helping my mother, about the sewing and washing, and doeing the house wokd and running of earants for the nabors, while myself had got work in the stove factory of Trobridge and Co, situated on the other side of the river, where now is the O.G. freight yeard, i received $1,25 cents a day for my labor i worked there for three or too vacations and part of the 3d, wee all gave or earnings too our Mother and she dispensed of them, four our bennifit, and other sorce of income, that helped too keep the wolf from the door, was my Mother re-ceived, by post, office, or through six months from my Fa-ther puiting our work all togeather and investing it for out suport, in the best way that Mother could, mad it suport us, quite comfortable so that we were never in nead want for the neasisearrys of every day life, yet at times wer in quite hard straits on acount of the high price of provissions, and cloaths, thus the years passed on in a hum drum fashion, some times we had abundance, sometimes, a near nothing, untill finealy the war, closed and Father came home i am a little ahead of my statements here in scribed, and so i will, puit it down here, my Brother that had enlisted in the army in the 108th, O,V,I, had him ta-keing prisnor by the rebbles in the 3d or 4th, fight, that his regment was engaged in, i think that it was at the bat-tle of the wilderness, and puit in andersonVille, prison, he was in prison nine long months in andersonville, prison, before he was prorolled, and transferred along with some others of the soldiers, home on a three months furlow, it was a joyfull supprise too us all and especaly so for my Mother as wee were not expecting him and because of her great love for him, my brother Deloss, was greatly changed i my self could, hardly, recognize him, but after he had bin at home for a time, his looks improved so well that, we all, had no trouble in recognizeing him, prison life had a had a verry bad efect on him, fisicaly, and he was a sight for too give one the horrows, he claimed, that their food, i mean the prisoners, food was composed of cornmeal, ground cobbs and all and that one pint was surved out for mess too each, man 3 times a day, dry corn meal and all, that they had too cook it with was, durrty watter, that they dipped up from a crick that ran through the stockaide, and that the crick was the receiver of all the fillth form the pris-oners persons, and all other reffuce of the prison, and that from the efects of this diett, different diseassed broke out amoung the soldiers, such as gang green scurvy, difrent kind of fevors, raged among the prisoners, and they were dieing at the rate of 3 or 4 a day, he told us that some of them would fight for their meal, too the death, and it became on every day occurance seeing someone of them lyeing ded from, fighting for their corn meal which kepped them from starveing too death, and that they wre dieing from scurvy, and from gangreen every day, and too make their prison still worse, they the prison officials had constructed, a number of stakes driven intoo the ground around the inside of the stockade and 10 ft, away from the main fence and called the ded line, and that if any soldier or prisoner was caught in the between this dead line and the main fence, he was shot by the guards, that walked around, on a platform built near the top of the stockade, and watched the prisoners night and day, and were told too shoot them down the reason of the officials, for this last move, was that before the dead line was built, that some of the prisoners had escaped through the crick, under the stockade wall, they had one or too ryetts, the prisoners banded togeather, and made a rush for the gates, when the grub wagon came in, in the morning with their days rations, but was not verry secussfull, and some of them, got killed, and none of them gained their liberty if i am corect, in this scribing, at one end of the stockade was a lot of low shedds, or stalls, the same, as those built for cattle, with out the feed _____, and in there llittle manger was thrown straw, and that too times, a blanket, and sometimes nothing, that the bunks became so filthy, they were full of bedbugs, and they became full of graybacks, or boddy lice, that they had no meens of getting reid of them, that they swarmed all over one, like, ants on an aunt hill, that they farely subsisted on human flesh, he told us the trying time he had too keep, the few boys in his regment from fighting and killing each other, through their sufferings, in pris-ons and for their food, which was barely sufficient too sustain life, and i know that Deloss spoke the trooth, for he was allways a peece maker, he told us of him, and his pardner, or bunk companion, of making up or composeing songs, too drive away sorrow, and too make their prison companions feel more contented with their hard lot and i will rite down in this book, one of the many songs that they composed, song of the southern prison life rittern and composed and sang, by Deloss _____ and his prison compan-ion, while in anderson vill prison Dear friends and fellows soldiers brave, come listen too my song, about the rebbles prisons, and their soldiering their so long the reched state and hardships great, no one can understand but those, that have endured that life in diccys sunny land, were poor, servivers were often tried, by many a threat and blame for too dissert our noble cause and join the rebble tribe, tho fane wee were to live the place, we lett them understand, wee rather, die than disgrace our flag, in dic-cys sunny land

MMS 1769 - Toledo Hospital Patient Diary Guide
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