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Toledo State Hospital Patient Diary - MMS 1769
Note : This diary has been divided into parts in order to present it in a manageable form. The divisions do not reflect divisions in the text. Spelling and punctuation are original.
This was the daly bill of faire, in that a sescesh salloon, no sugar tea or coffie there, at morning night or noon but a pint of meal ground cobbs and all was served too every man, for the want of fire wee ete it raw, in diccys sunny land, yet days and weeks and Months, roalled on, the days and week untolde, untill that happy day arived when wee were all parrooled, wee landed at anappoliss, a reched looking land, but glad too bee alive and free from dickeys land, how like a dreem those days now seem, all dressed in union blue, as wee regaine our wasted strength all dressed in union blue, the debt wee oh our bitter foe, shall not have long too stand weil, pay it with a vengance soon, in dickeys sunny land, i believe that there was another verce, but its bin so long ago since, i repeated the words of the song, that i can not remember,, if there was or not, but, as it is, it is verry complete, i recall too my mind, an insedent, that transpired, while my Brother Deloss was in AndersonVille prison that proved a conspiracy, by the offi-cials of the prison, against every soldier, that they thought would survive his imprisonment, it was when they were parolleing the prisoners, they was called up in line, and in spected by the prison officials, as too their phisi-call condission, and every one that looked able too stand more punishment, or was looking fairly healthy, was turned back in tow the pen and every one that was two unhealth, looking and they thought could not survive their jurney home, wer called intwo line counted off and their names taken down and, then they takeing before the, commanding General, their names complection hight, and what regment they belonged too, filed off in two companys, and exchanged for prisoners of their soldiers that we had in our prisons, my brother was called back too times in too the prison stockade but the third time that he was called he happened to have a friend in one of the prison oficals, who seeing his condission, took holt of his arm, and puit him through, the gate, just in time too save him from being called back, and he then ran a head, and mingled with the rest of the parolled prisoners, and escaped being called back the third time, the prison life here brings all, that my Brother went through in anderson ville, prison in as much, that they doo not discharge any healthy people here, in this asylum they waitt untill they are shure that the patants can not, gett over the abuse they ----- not keep them any longer then they discharge them, they geet home live a while, then die, from the abuse that they receive in the Toledo State Hospi-tal when my Brother arived home he was completely covered with gray backs, and his hair nearly dropped all out of his head, from scurvey, he stayed around the house or home, nearly all of the time that he was out on a furlow went down town occasinally, and ran of earants for Mother, we were a happy famley during his short vacation, i believe that he stayed too weeks over time, for his captin sent him a letter, for him too join his regment, he bid us all a loving fairwell, and went away to join his regment, and wee never, saw him after, it was an eternal fair well it, is i believe, a mistake of mine in the fore part, of this book in recording, the date of my Brothers enlistment, i puit it down, as being, the summer of 62, but after doo considera-tion, i believe that it, was the summer of 63 yet wont bee possitive, so the years passed, in decided contentment, when, finaly Father came home from the armey with his phisical health good, excepting his eye sight which was partly distroyed, the doctors said that it would not bee but a short time before he would bee toetaly blind as the octive nerve was distroyed he had not bin home but a short time, when he went to consult a doctor reguarding his eye and the doctor told him the same as the armey physsion had told him, hee was quite discouraged for a while, but finealy through mallencolly aside, and thought gods will bee done, he could not work at his trade when he came home on acount of his eyes, being so bad, soo he aplyed for and got, a posision, in a lumber yard, too tend too the horses, but before he, went too work for a man named scotty, build-ing a large sailing vessel or scow, when he got, through with that job of work, he went, too work for his cozen Mr, Willcox, that keeps shipchandler store on watter street, building another sailing vessel or scow, he helped too build 2 or 3 others, and then tried sailing for a lively hood sailing the scow that he had built, and named the scow lumisey, named by his cozen Mt, Willcox, he finealy got so bling that he had too through up the command of his vessel, and seek some other employment, it was then that he, got the employment in the lumber yard, of sage and inc, graw takeing care of horses, as barn boss of which i spoke in these preveious lines, i know that he had a hard time of doeing his work, yet his employers thought a great deel of him, for he did his work well yet so tereabley troubled with his eyes, they raised his salrie from 14 shillens a day, two 2 dollars a day and finealy too 2 1/4 dollars and one quarter, a day, he at times was detalled too, hall ex-try loads of lumber, when they had more than the teemsters, could doo, so he was called, too hall the town orders, i remember of him driving a large brown or red horse that he had doctored up that had bin sent, down from the com-panypinerier up in michigan they claimed that the horse was vishious and they wre compelled too destroy his eyesight, he then worked well, so well that, they near worked him too death, and he was skin and bones, when he was brought down here too their lumber yards, so father doctored him up, and got him well, and when, completely well drove him around too diliver town orders, the people that knew my Father, jollyed him because of him self being blind or nearly so, and driving a blind horse, he was a wonderfull, large horse, being where in good condission the hevyest horse in the yard, weighing 2,100 pounds and something over, my Fa-ther finealy had too quit work, on account of his eyes hav-ing too get up so early in the morning that it was still dark and he could not see his way too work, too or three times in going too his work he had run in too fences and trees, he allso ran intwo the corner of the house and nocked himself down and was badly injured, so he through up his work, alltwogeather, he went down town one day and met one of his old friends, and got employment from him it was working on the farm of Jim Coles, he was too run the 2 farms, doo the plowing sewing, and atend too the stock while, jim Cole, did the selling of the produce, he first ----- out too build a large barn, and when that was complete he did the overseeing of the farm work, and at the salrey of ten dollars a week, he worked too the Cole place, for a long time, i doo not quite remember, how long a time but i think it was 2 years My Father was a great mechanic having learned and worked at quite a number of them, i will here puit, in riteing the number of different trades that he knew and had served time too learn he knew every thing about a farm, for he was raised on a farm and there on the farm he learned too weve yarn, knit stockens learn too cut fit and make his own Cloaths, and too tan the hide of cat-tle, and cut and fit his own shoes and boots, in his home labor learning how, too work at 4 different trades, at the age of 17 or 18 years, he went with his father too learn th plastering, stone mayson and brick layers trade as his fa-ther was a mayson contractor, and building constructor, his father worked with his cozen in a ship yard, belonging, too them or was their father and my father went with them and learned the trade of ship carver, he learned the trade of millright, and was a good engineer, boath fire, and cival engineer and one time in his his younger, life was employed on the rail road, as constructor and after the road bed was built, was employed, as genral supertendant of all repairs and all constructions, or vesturely genral master machanic, at $100, one hundred dollars, a month and all his expences, were paid the rail road company however i was not too rite my fathers life of buisness, but my own, and how i was in-carcerated in this toledo state hospital for insaine, so i best begin again and fullfill my agreement i worked at di-verse jobs, in vacation, or untill i quit school, which was the second year after i had passed through the ward school building, and was going too the high School i became posessed with the idea that i did not nead any more school-ing, and that i knew esaly more than the teachers could teach me, so one Monday morning while i was on my way too school, a sneeking disire took posession of me too goo a buming i walked on untill i reached the old, canal bridge, that crossed the old canal on madison st. the thought, came too me but under that bridge was anice place too hide my books so i went down the bank and walked under the bridge, on the end too wards summit st. and shoved my books way up under, the platform, and between the bank, as fare as i could gett them, and then came out from under the bridge, and up an too the street again, well i went buming for three or fore weeks before my father or my Mother found it out yet they could not make me go too school, and more, or or my Father did not caire so it was no use for mother too try and make me goo, yet she pleaded with me quite hard too make me goo but i would not heed her, yet knowing that she was right, in her opinion of the matter reguards my going, shortly after i quit school, my Father got me employment at the lumber yard where he was working at the time, talleying lumber, worked, there for one week or 6 days, when on a saturday father drew my pay and received 9 dollars, along with his pay Father then took me down town after he re-ceived the money and bought me a derbie hat, for 8 dollars and some other things nesiseary for me too make a sonday toliet on sunday morning he had a qurrel with my oldest sister and as Father was verry passenate with an ungovern-able temper i was watching for squalls which was shure too come when any of us talk back at him or too him, and my sister Rose was in the habbit of talking back when angry, the squall did come as i expected, father walked up too my sister when her back was twowards him, and grabbed her by the hair of the head, and commenced too pull the hair out, of her head at the same time dragging her down too the floor, i was standing by the door, ready for what might happen, i said that, if he manage too gett her down on the floor, that he would kick her too death, and knowing Fa-thers ungovernable temper when he had bin drinking i picked up a chair that was used for too sit the baby over the thunder vessel, and when Father was turned around, in his tussel with my sister, and in a posision so i was shure that i would not strike her i grabbed the stool by one legg, whirled it too or three times around my head, and lett it fly it went strait for dads head, and struck him fairely on the side of the head, he lett go of my sister and stagered against the wall, i then skipped out doors, and wached the percedeings, the firs thing that Father did after righting himself from the efects of the blow that he had received, was too look for my new hat, and finding it he took it in his hands, twisting it all out of shape, then throwing it on the floor, stomped on it Calling through the door, too me as he was distroying my hat in words like these, there damm, you that's youre pay, for takeing youre sisters part, and if i catch you i will give you the same the hat was completely ruined i left home that day and wnet down too iron ville, and got work at a stave mill that, was situated there i got $1,50 one dollar and 50 cents a day for wheeling out barrel heading and after it was sawed and pileing it up too dry i stayed there a week or two, when some one of the famley came too look for me, but i did not see them, i then went over on the west side of the river, too my aunts and staid there a while when, father came down too plaster my aunts house i then went home, i will here state that my Father was nearly blind when he, did the plastering on my aunts house, he allso did the plastering of our, house, and when so blind that he could hardly gett around with out assistance, took, a contract, of building quite a number, of charcoal kills, they were built in the shape of a round flat cone, and laid up in brick and cement morter, and plastered plastered in side and out side with a small opening on one side for egress, or ingress, they were built too burn wood intwo charcoal too furnish fewel for the pig iron foundry, as it was quite a big contract, and quite a distance from home, father thout it would bee bet-ter too move down there, so he could gett too his work handy me or Mother, and Father dicided, in favor of moveing, we finealy sold our house where we were living in the 5th ward and puiting all of our furniture in ship shape for moveing, we all went down too iron ville in the first, lead load, and on the river in a verry large canoe that we carved and had named the old peerabe, its, length was 30 ft, 4ft, wide, and 2 ½ ft, high, we went down the river, in her, with the whole famley the first load, and moved in the little new house, belonging too the iron oar furnace Com-pany we then went and got the rest of our house hold fur-nishings and settled down, then Father went too work build-ing the charcoal kills and recementing the old ones as fast as he got throught with or completed one, the company would, pille the finished kille feel of wood, and set it one fire when it got too burning good they smother it or stop the draft then it or the kill would smoak fearfully, and as the kills were all built clost togeather it was all-most impossible too work near them on account of the smoke, it was verry bad for, Fathers eyes, and allmost impossible for him too see where too go, or what too doo, even in clear day light, as he was nearly blind and the excessive amount of smoke made it worse, he finaly was compelled too quit the work on acount of his eye sight, it was poor re-conpence that he received for his labor, because of the companys paying him for his labor, in the store orders they having a store, where their employees bought their provi-sions, and cloathing, and charge charged a high rait of intrest for their goods, and any man that worked, for this company and did their tradeing too their store generaly, lost part of his days earnings we did not stay down too iron vile long after Father quit work, but moved up too the city, i believe the following summer in a house near the corner of lagrange and summit streets oaned by partys by the name of Hollenbanks we lived in this house quite a long time, we were growing up intwo man and woman had as well advanced in our teens, and able too work for our self, ex three youngest, whose age ranged from 3 and 7 and 10 years, about this time a shingle mill was built on the river docks, at the foot of Chessnut street, built and oaned by Smith, Law, and Walters or Watters, i am not shure which, is the right name the words or names ar so simular, how-ever, when it gott too runing we all got employment, that is the 3 oldest of children, or 4 oldest, my two sisters jointing shingles, at 75 cents a day apece, and my self and Brother Nelson employment, at packing shingles intwo bun-dles at 3 cents a bunch, we made quite fair wages at this work, after the first or second weeks work my Brother get-ting so much improved that he would, or could pack 100 bunches a day making his days wages, $ 3 three dollars for a small boy of 10 or 12 years of age they had so many small children working there packing shingles that i became ashamed of my job, and appyed too my boss for a more manly posision and he gave me one of the shingle presses too run, the employment brought, me for a days wages one dollar and a half, or one dollar and 75 cents a day, i doo not remem-ber which though i think it was the latter, our combined sallreis for one weeks work was in the nabor hood of $34 thirty four dollars for the foure of us oldest children for each week that wee worked full time we lived verry comfort-able with what we earned and were quite contented, the shingle mill work did not last long and wee were finealy throwne out of employment, i found or got employment at the molding factory, where they made black wallnut mouldings for picture frames furniture did not gett so much wages there in the moulding factory, as in the shingle mille, but it was steddy work the year around, i work there untill i was compelled too quit on acount of the thick hevvey dust that was continuely flying through, so thick that the room was cloudy, all the time that the machiens for making moulding was in motion, it fill ones face nose mouth and eyes and every breath one drew he inhaled dust, it became difficult for me too, brethe good so i quit, and looked for work some where else, i found employment in a paint shop and started too learn the trade of painting the painting Store and shop, was oaned and by Brown, and Kellog, they were the leeding, painting contractors of the city of Toledo at that time, and had a large gang of men, working for them at that time, not oanly they doeing the best part of the citys, work, but had a large gang of men working on bridge work out side of the city i worked there a number of years, and months, or months i got $ 150 dollar and 50 cents a day for my labor, and was allso learning the traid of painting, i finealy quit because he would not raise my salrey, and while looking for work i would go down too the docks along the river front and get some work by the our, loading or unloading vessels, with stoves and square timber i got 50 cents an our for my labor on severl occazions, i got this kind of work, about this time, my sister bigan keeping company with a young man, by the name of Frank Smith, and after going with her for a while they were Mar-ried, he at that time followed lathing contracting for a living i remember of him coming too our house, too see my sister on every Saturday evening after his evening meal or supper, and he having dressed himself in his Sundays best, he generaly carried with him his weeks wages in a great big pocket book, and was in the habbit of showing it too me, it was generaly in the naborhood of $18, and $21, or $25, dol-lars, that he carried in his big pocket book, for one weeks work, and the amount exsighted my cuipittity too such an extent that i quit the painting trade and went too work with him learning the lathing trade, i followed it as a business, for a while, when, wee moved on the east side of the river, i then quit and went too work in the shop or the painting shop of the toledo pump company, painting pumps, i there got steddy work at $75 cents a day, they liked my work, and raised my wages too $2,00 too dollars a day and i became asistant forman in the paint shop department, i found that one of his, or the bosses relatives that was working their at the time was getting 25 cents more a day than i was getting yet was not any better workman, so i quit, and went back too work with my Brotherinlaw, Frank Smith at the lathing business and followed it as a business every since, but at times dooing odd jobs of painting, when there was not much work at lathing, we moved from the east side of the river, it is not necessary here too explaine, i will oanly state that my too oldest sisters got married, and one went too keeping house, with her husbands people and the other sister lived with our parrents, they managed too live quite comfortable, yet were verry poor but strictly honest, perhapps it was their honesty that kept them so poor, i have had my suspicesions aroused in this respect, and am rather inclined too the beliefe that it was their honesty that kept us all poor i will her state that my Father seeing the necessity of dooing something too keep the wolf from the door, all tough he was blind thought that he might sell fish, on commission if he could get some one, or some little boy too lead him around, and too come from his business stand, so as out cousin was stopping with us, he thought that he would bee what he required, for his as-sistance, and trying him found, that hee was all that was nessesserry, for now he had eyes, and could gett around all right, he then went in two the business, and sucseded so well, that some weeks they would make as high as fifty dol-lars a week, father was a very indpendent man, and nowing his dependancy in his blind stat, concived the plan, o fmaking himself of independent, i will not gow into a de-tale account of the many ups and downs, in our famley life but sufice it too say that they were many, and at times very trying, as i am not righting this, for fun, nor neather too gain notoreity, but for a purpose and the pur-pose is too prove my saneity, by showing in riteing that i know all that has happened too me or my famley or people before my incarceration, in this state Hospital, for insane and at the presant time am riteing it down, sitting in my sell, in an asylum for the insaine, about the time that we left the Hollenbacks, house i began keeping company with girls out side of our famley, or strange young ladies, ta-keing them too balls, privet parttys and sometimes spending an evening in some ice cream parlor, i did not make no choyce of any one girl, but insisted the first one that i happened too think of yet a little later in my aquantance, with young ladies, my affections settled on one perticular, young ladie, and i began kepping her steady company her, folks were german, and emegrants, coming over too this country, when they were very young, and single, and set-tling in pennsellvaynia, in the town of reeding, and there were married and raised a large famley, there were 2 boys, and 4 girrels in the famley, named respectfully Elezeibeth, John, Matilda, Margarett, Joe, and, Clara, Friend, they were not a great while in toledo, when i first new them, haveing having moved too, toledo, in war time, or the last ---- draft for new recrutes, in our late cival war their father was drafted and not being able too gett a substitute was compelled, too runaway too keep the officers from ta-keing hom and makeing him surve in the armey, i kept comp-ney with Matilda, for two years or more before, we were married, i am compelled too state the reasons of our mar-rage, for curcomestances have made it nessearry too my diliverance, from this oufull imprisonment, and too wright the through mistaken ideas and the vile and horroble lies, of my enemies, that has kept me in this asylum, for 11 eleven long years, i and my peasant wife, became great lov-ers in the corce of our court ship so much in love with one another that we were never happy away from, each other, or when seperated, and in a moment, of hedeless ness, or cair-less ness, one of the many times we were togeather we be-came man and wife, in the sight of god, for weel, or woe, it was not long after that she became pregnant, and nes-sisity compelled me too marrie her by law, she would not have had too go too extremes, it was not nessesserry, for i was perfectly willing too be married, too her, and dureing all of out long married life i have not broken by cahabet-ing with any other wimmen, the sacrid vows as we boath stued before the justic of the court, and swore by the laws of god, and man too love, cherish, obeay ,protect, and honor in sickness, or in health, so long as god, letts us live, out sacrid marriage vows, and i mean too keep forever their sacrid princeiples, untill death doth us part There are any number of places and houses, that we lived in and went too, boath before and after my marriege that i think is not necseary necseary too mention, here and many ups and downs, in my married life sometimes prosperity would smile on us, then advercity would strike us with her hlas of povertys ills, then there would be a riff in the dark heavy cloud that our shaddow or life, and finealys the sun with all its brightness would shine for us again, and so the years roalled on form one too another, and from a small famley of 3 we increced the number too 5 members, in our famley 3 children and my Wife and myself the children being strong and healthy and answering too their names of [Rich-ard - crossed out], John, Clara, and Arthur, respectfully, i will here state that it was my disire and is my disire still too add too the names of each of my children, and it was a partal agreement, by my self and wife, too doo this, and we, or i did name too of them with an extra, name, it was the too boys, it is my disire that if they chance too see, little book in which is inscribed the sucsises or ills and the disires of my married life that they will kepp sac-rid and fulfill, my disires, my oldest sons name too bee Richard John, and my youngest for the great love i bore my Brother and the deep sorrow, i still feal at his loss, is too bair his name in honor too his memory it is the name that we all respect and love, and that my son will ever re-spect it in his every day life, and intercorce with the public i have not the slitest, doubt the name in that of Deloss, Arthur, ______, i would like allso if it were pos-sible, for my oldest son too take the name of his grand fa-ther, That of John, Enon, ______ , i have bin with and around and work for my grand Father, and i know his dispo-sision, too bee kind and gentle yet severe whhen one was in the rong, and ever determind too bee on the right side of the subject in dispute and i found that what puit him above the average man, and made him ---------------- -------- was his great preasantes of mind and his wonderfull common scences, hopeing that my son will accept his name and, re-spect it knowing that it was once the name of one of na-tures noblemen, and one of my oldest Brothers given names, as too my Daughter i havent any idea of changing her name, or adding too it, another for i can honestly say, that the name of Clara is all suficant and that she will so live her life, too compare favorably with her pretty name, hopeing that my children will, respect my disires, dureing their natural lives i havent the slitest doubt, the years contin-ues too good too our prosspaty, and age, some of the small benefits of living came, our way, yet allso disipointments, and so time passed on, for all of us, in the way of death, as wee all managed too keep healthy, liveing in different locations in the city untill Father through the influence of the grand armey got from the goverment, his pention, of 72 dollars a month and allso a back pention of nearly a thousand dollars, it was a wonderfull wind fall, for him and, made him and my Mother comfortable for life, it was not long after Father got his pention, that he thought of building, or bying a house or a home, for him self and my mother, as we had allways lived in rent since just before the war, when Father went too work for Niles, and moved too the place where his work was the place was called James Town and was on the bay shore near seder point, there was a sawmill there too or three other houses for private fam-leys, a large boarding house built of loggs, and a long narrow, dock for loading boats with lumber, or unloading them, my fathers employment, consisted of choping up slabbs for the furnace doeing the fireing and runing the engin, i will not for gett a curcomestance conected with our moveing, as it has reference too what happened too my self, an dcame verry near being the death of my self, we moved our house hole furnishings down too James Town on a sailing vessel or scow, sailing down the river, and getting too our destination after dark, tied the old scow up along side of the long narrow dock, and prepared too gow up too the tav-ern too spend the night, my brother the oldest one, jumped off of the scow on too the dock, and stood waiting for the rest of us too disembark from the scow, i was in the cabbin with my Mother and we were too be takeing off by father, who was working at something outside on the boat, and had bin keeping us, longer than i cared too stay on the boat so becoming inpatchent at the long delay broak away form my Mothers hold of me, and started out of the cabbin, climing over the top of it, on too a lott of hay that the boat was loaded, with along with other merchantdies, and walking along on top of the hay too wards the dock, i got, too close too the edge and slid off of the hay intwo the hay the all, gone a scream, and mother hollord worse than all, bringing asistance too her directly, a fellow by the name of tom shanteau came running with a lantern, and seeing the nesesity of imedeate action jumped in two the hay di-rectly where i had slid off of the boat, and my Father along with him, it was a verry dark knight and, it was in-chance that, they jumped intoo the watter, near where i went down Father swam from, pile to pile in search of me, yet with out success, and was giving up in disparie, when he heard, the voice of Tom Shatting in triumps, i have got him sam, and with the asistance of a rope lett down from the scow too tom, we were boath pulled on board of the old scow, transferred too the dock, and i was caried too the tavern, for i was senceless, and thought dead i happene, too remember that it was my Brothers hand that i pulled away from, and walked off the dock, struck the hay on the boat and off intwo the hay and not my Mothers hand that i girked away from, i remember that i thought that, the dock, was broad like those in the city, and i wanted too walk around and exploair it, i remember nothing of my jurney from the dock too the tavern, or when or how long a time it was before they brought me too, the first thing i doo re-member was walking around on the tavern floor, in a nude state with a big belly, and mother, crying and laughing, at one and the same time at my narrow escape from drownding, and the condission, i was in, and a number of other laydies in the tavern with a few men looking on, it was but a lit-tle while before Father had a new house, built, on an acere, of ground that he had bought from Mr. Niles, it be-ing the first house that father, oaned before the war,
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