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Ira Conine Papers: Transcripts - MS 673

Jennie Bysel Correspondence - October-November 1862

October 8, 1862

Evening of the Eight of Oct. [1862]

Dear Ira (for you are still dear to me and always will be!) It is with feelings far from pleasant that I attempt to address this silent messenger to you. Your letter of the 30th of Sept. was received this evening. I was surprised - Yes sorry to learn that you have received no letters from me!

I can't imagine why you do not get my letters. I have been faithfull in writing to you! I just came home from McComb this evening. I put another letter in the office to day for you.

Last Saturday father gave all a letter to Patterson to take to you but I do not know whether he has gone yet or not. You say that the reason why I don't write may be because I have no paper! Now Ira you know just as well as I do all about that! Oh Ira, you don't think, you can't think that the reason you do not get letters from me is because I don't write them. Do you think I have forgotten you Ira! Oh no Ira, you certainly do not think so. You know I never can, no never will forget you! The letter I received this evening is real good and I was glad to get it as I am all your letters. Yet it was written in such a reproving way as though the girl you had left behind you was proving false and all that sort of thing. But Ira if you have never received a letter from me since you went away I don't know as I should blame you for feeling so. It may be if I was placed in the same circumstance I would do the same way! I have nothing to complain of on your part, you have done well for which you have my thanks, but it grieves me sadly to think you of all others would think me proving false.

You say you long to hear from friend Jennie if she considers herself as such. Ira I have long flattered myself that I was more to you than a friend. I hope I am not mistaken in my thinking. But enough of this. I may tire your patience, but Ira I could write all night if that would convince you that I was otherwise than true. You say you have become acquainted with two pretty girls. Thanks to them for treating you so kindly. Go and visit them as often as you can. There is nothing so essential to a young mans happiness as spending a part of his time in the society of virtuous Ladies, have no fear on my account. Ira! You know I never troubled you with jealousy. I would sacrafise everything I posses in this world to afford you one hours pleasure. A soldiers lot is a hard one, at best. The poet was true when he said "No father near to guide me now. No mothers tear to sooth my brow, No sisters voice falls on my ear. No brothers smile to give me cheer." Ira take care of your health, good health is the greatest boon that a soldier can possess. It is so hard to be in the hospital with no loved one near to sooth or comfort! There you will have no mother or sister to minister to your wants or relieve your distresses, think of this Ira and be carefull. Ira it makes me shudder when I think how daring you are. I am so afraid you will go out once to often scouting please Ira don't don't go any more.

[Written inverted at the top of pages of the letter, and also along the left margins]

(turn over)

I came pretty near buying a watch today. I guess I will go back an[d] get it yet. I am going to buy it with the money you sent me so that I can keep it to remember you. I must ask your advise about it. Don't you think I had better, the price is ten dollars.

[Note on the side margin, first page]
This is from Paps [?] is'ent it Ira.

If you don't get this letter I think I will ride out and be my own mail carrier.

Oh dear how it is raining the first good rain we have had since you went away pretty near drenching here. It is after ten O'clock they are all gone to bed but me and I am up writing to my soldier boy.

Write soon so that I will know whether you got this letter or not ever yours Jennie.

November 16, 1862

Sabbath Morning Nov. 16

My Dear Jayhawker! Now I am going to write some more Oh Dear but I am lonesome this morning! George is playing Dixie on a jewsharp It makes me feel sad to hear "away down in dixie" I never hear it or sing it but I think of my boy in the army! Oh this cruel cruel war!! It has robed me of all that was dear to me in this world!!! Well Ira you say you wrote me a letter last Thursday and sent me some postage stamps.. I haven't got the letter nor the stamps either.. It hase'nt come through yet! You say you won't write much this time and you say that you never do write much at best. Now Ira I don't want to flatter you but you just write the best letters I ever read, they suit me at any rate [illegible] that is all I care for.

Ira you wanted to hear whether I had received yours of the 6th [illegible] I just thought of it. I just think that I have seen nothing of it. I don't see why it didn't come. After I got through reading your letter last evening it seemed to me there must be some more I wished there had been a dozen sheets it was so good.

You say you don't think it your falt that I dropped that piece of reading out of your letter [interlinear--Oh yes it was your falt and no person else] and more than all you thought I was getting mighty nice again. Also write and tell you what is nice and you would send it to me if it was in Kentucky.. Well in the first place I dont think it was your falt but my carelessness and that cant be helped now.. I promise you to be more carefull in the future.. And as to my getting so mighty nice again. Ill have you to understand Mr. Conine I always was nice... And as for sending me something that is nice You need not put yourself to unnecessary trouble about that!!! That's certainly so now as old Lis___ [illegible] says.

There now I guess I am through answering your letter I must dress for church.. I am going with your folks down on the ridge to meeting this afternoon, so good by till this evening!!!

Now Ira I am going to finish your letter. I was down at meeting to day and I seen your Jennie Radabaugh!! Brother Grey preached a very good sermon from the 18th Chapter of Hebrews 13th verse, as good a discourse as I ever heard him preach And such a good class meeting..I never enjoyed one better It is the last sabbath I shall go to church at home for a while! Sallie and I are going to start to Findlay to school next friday.. You may direct your letters there!! As the time grows near for us to go to school I begin to feel as though I had rather stay at home.

I have got to be quite a home girl since you went away.. I don't go any place but up to your pa's house.. I did think after you went away that I should never want to go there but now I stay there one night out of every week and sometimes more! If I could'nt go up there I should die off entirely. It is all the consolation I have that and your letters.. I came across the woods this evening all alone. It was after dark, too. I didn't feel much afraid for I was thinking how often you and I had come across there together and wondered if I should ever see days like those again Do you remember one evening when it was all icey and you pretended to be falling down all the time!!!! The old scratch was in you big as a barn door that night!! The weather has been so pleasant this fall.. We have'nt had any rain for along time.. The roads are dusty.. Last sabbath I took a walk to the corner where the road turns to come in to our house.. I sat down under the tree that you said you was going to leave stand for you and George to play cards under and I thought of the time I heard you speak of it!!! How things have changed since then! How differently we are situated.. Little did I think then that you would be where you are now, and me here all alone yes all alone for in the biggest crowd I feel lonely.. And I am alone.

Your uncle Johns were all up to day and last night. Well Ira I must quite writing or I might tire your patience but I don't know when to stop when I get to writing to you.. When you write tell whether Howard gave you those letters yet and also why you don't answer them. Oh yes I pretty near forgot to tell you about our tract society up here. It is called the Sharpsville Tract Society. I am the librarian and Han is the secretary. Sallie is the travling agent. We had some tracts sent us last week.. If the 118th has'nt been supplyed with that article just send to the Sharpsville Tract Society and you will be supplyed amediately. I am sorry I cannot comply with your invitation to breakfast on fresh pork but Ira you may eat a great big slice for me, that will do wont it Ira it will do me more good than if I could have eaten it myself!!!

Please write soon very soon. Yours in love till death Jennie.

[at the top of the first page - inverted]
Direct your next to Findlay Ohio

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